Tag Archives: doubt

Night before easter

Tonight is the night before Easter. The night before the glorious resurrection. In just a few hours, we will celebrate the risen Christ, the coming of new life and the victory over death.
But think with me for a minute. Tonight I can’t help but wonder about the disciples, the followers. Those who had given their all. Those who set aside jobs and families and notoriety to follow this man from Galilee. To trudge after this teacher from Nazareth. Most thought he would bring a revolution and free his people. They thought his kingdom was about to rise up. Even though he warned them for months and even years that his kingdom was not of this world, they still expected him to grant them freedom.
Now it is Saturday night. He has been dead for over 24 hours. He could have called angels to free him, but he didn’t. He had the chance to rise up in glory and demonstrate the sum of his power but he chose not to. Now they sit alone in a darkened upper room, waiting. Every sound could be the government coming for them. Worst of all, they had all scattered like sheep.
They were filled with fear and regret. They were filled with anxiety, not knowing what would happen next.
So many times we find our selves in the same place. We lay looking up at the darkened ceiling, wondering why things have happened. Why didn’t he do something different? Why did the report have to say cancer? Why did the child have to make friends with the wrong crowd? Why did the car breakdown? Why did the accident have to happen?
We live in Saturday night but never realize that tomorrow, Sunday, is on the way. We can get so caught up in the misery of now not noticing that tomorrow is coming.
Saturday night was the darkest night in history. They thought the crucifixion was bad. But now he was still in the tomb. It was the time of greatest doubt. Sadly even those closest to him never understood his words. The Bible seems to indicate that no one was really watching and waiting for him to rise. The women were going to prepare the body. When he did rise they were in shock. Mary Magdalena saw Jesus in the garden and could not recognize him. Instead she thought the Romans had moved his body.
Nevertheless, Jesus revealed himself to them. He proved that everything he said was true. When we are caught is the darkness of Saturday night, just remember Sunday is just a few house away.

God, I am angry

You know, I remember when I was younger it was always recommended not to get angry with God. My mother did not like the thought of her child being angry with God. She acted as if being angry with God would unleash the terrible wrath of the almighty.

As a child I really took that to heart. I did not want to be angry with God. Nevertheless, there were times that I did question God and even become frustrated with him because I did not understand. I was again told that this was not safe. I was told that this could cause God to be angry with me.

As an adult, theologian, and author, I now highly disagree with this previous belief. My question: do I really think that God is so small and so needy that he can not handle me questioning him, or dare I say, being angry with God?

Is God really that weak that he is offended or hurt when I get angry or even when I doubt? Is God really that miniscule that it angers him when we get upset? No!

Our relationship can actually be strengthened when we have these emotions towards God. First, when we become angry at God our faith is at its height. We can not be angry at something that we do not believe in.

Secondly, when we are questioning God, it gives God the chance to demonstrate his love for us. He proves to us that he really cares for us. God has a way of demonstrating his compassion for us when we are in need.

Third, the more we struggle with our beliefs the more we grow spiritually. It forces us to grow up and understand what we believe instead of just believing what we are told to believe.

Nevertheless, there is a problem. Even though it does not hurt God when we become angry or when we doubt, it can hurt us. Some people will become angry with God, and then just give up on God. When we are angry with God we have to keep moving forward with our relationship with God.

Some people get angry and then turn their back on God. We can’t do that. We need to love God enough to continue pushing forward when we are struggling with our faith. Hopefully, when we are angry with our spouse or significant other we would not give up on the relaitonship. In the same way if we get angry¬†with God keep pushing forward. Furthermore, we need to give God the chance to prove himself to us.